3 April 2018

Irfan wanted me to write about my day today –

… so I had about 11 hours of sleep last night because I felt the need to shut down and have one of the longest sleep, ever. I woke up at 545am, like I always do.

Mom packed me food for breakfast which I was very thankful for cause I skipped dinner for sleep. I was just nope, not having it. I want to sleep.

Okay, writing about my day is getting a little bit weird but it’s only started.

Work was pretty alright. There’s finally a light at the end of a very long tunnel. The tunnel that I had to go through on my own. I’ve been feeling detached, it was as though I was a different person altogether and I had to figure things out the hard way. It’s like fighting a losing battle everyday.

Anyway. Let’s not go down that lane.

Breathe.

I had moments where I’ve had to take a deep breath because of all the feels lately. I haven’t found myself a distraction yet, but I have been thinking about what it’s like to have an expiration date to what makes you happy.

Is it morbid for me to always think from time to time that there is no such thing as being genuinely happy because everybody dies in the end? If I had to write a short movie, it’ll be this:

“One day, I woke up happy. And then I died. Everyone died. The end.”

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